How to Talk to Your Doctor About Stopping Unnecessary Medications

Many older adults take five, six, or even more medications every day. Some of these pills were prescribed years ago for conditions that have changed-or no longer exist. But they’re still on the list. And that’s not just common. It’s dangerous. About 1 in 6 seniors taking five or more drugs experience a serious side effect like dizziness, confusion, or falls. These aren’t just side effects. They’re warning signs that some of your meds may be doing more harm than good.

Why Talking About Stopping Meds Isn’t Weird-It’s Smart

You might feel awkward bringing up stopping medications. Like you’re questioning your doctor’s judgment. Or worse, that you’re being difficult. But here’s the truth: doctors rarely bring it up first. A study found that 68% of seniors would welcome fewer pills-if only someone asked. The gap isn’t in the medicine. It’s in the conversation.

Deprescribing isn’t about cutting corners. It’s about cleaning up. Taking out what’s no longer helping, so what’s left can work better. The goal isn’t fewer pills. It’s better days. More energy. Fewer falls. Clearer thinking. The ability to walk the dog, play with grandkids, or sleep through the night without feeling foggy.

Prepare Before You Walk In

Showing up with a list of your meds isn’t enough. You need a list that tells a story.

Start by writing down every pill, patch, vitamin, or supplement you take. Include the dose and how often you take it. Don’t forget over-the-counter stuff-ibuprofen, antacids, sleep aids. These are often the ones that cause trouble.

Next, write down how each one makes you feel. Not just ‘I feel tired.’ Be specific. ‘After I take my blood pressure pill at 7 a.m., I get dizzy by 9 a.m. and nearly fell twice last week.’ Or, ‘The sleep medicine helps me fall asleep, but I wake up groggy and forget where I put my keys.’

Then, pick one or two meds you’re most worried about. Maybe it’s the one that makes you dizzy. Or the one you haven’t taken in months but still get refilled. Write down why you think it might be time to stop. Use your own words. Don’t copy medical jargon.

Finally, think about what you want your life to look like. ‘I want to walk to the store without help.’ ‘I want to remember my granddaughter’s birthday.’ ‘I want to stop feeling like I’m drugged all day.’ Write that down too. You’ll use it in the conversation.

How to Start the Conversation

Don’t say, ‘I want to take fewer pills.’ That sounds like a request for convenience. Doctors hear that all the time-and often dismiss it.

Instead, say something like:

• ‘I’ve been reading about how some meds can make seniors more likely to fall, and I’m worried mine might be doing that.’
• ‘I used to be able to garden for hours. Now I’m too tired by noon. Could any of these meds be part of the problem?’
• ‘I’m concerned the sleep pill is making me foggy in the morning. I don’t want to lose my independence because of a pill.’

These phrases work because they connect the medicine to your life-not just your lab numbers.

Use the ‘ask-tell-ask’ method:

1. Ask: ‘What’s your view on how my medications are working for me right now?’
2. Tell: ‘Here’s what I’ve noticed. I’ve been dizzy after taking X, and I’ve fallen twice. I’m scared I’ll break a hip.’
3. Ask again: ‘What’s the safest way we could test if reducing this medicine would help?’

This turns the conversation from a demand into a partnership.

What Your Doctor Wants to Hear

Doctors aren’t against deprescribing. Most want to do it. But they’re pressed for time. And they don’t want to accidentally cause harm.

They respond best when you show you’ve thought this through. Bring printed info from trusted sources like the Canadian Deprescribing Guidelines. These give clear evidence on which meds are most likely to cause problems in seniors-like certain sleeping pills, anticholinergics, or blood pressure drugs that drop too low.

Also, be ready to talk about how you’ll be monitored. Most doctors won’t stop a med cold turkey. They’ll suggest cutting the dose by 25% every few weeks, then checking in. Say: ‘Could we try lowering my dose slowly and schedule a follow-up in six weeks?’

And don’t be surprised if they say, ‘Let’s wait.’ That doesn’t mean no. It means not today. Ask: ‘What would need to change for us to try this next time?’

What Not to Say

Avoid these phrases-they shut down the conversation:

• ‘I don’t want to take so many pills.’ (Too vague. Sounds like laziness.)
• ‘This one’s too expensive.’ (Doctors hear this as a cost issue, not a safety one.)
• ‘I heard this med is bad for seniors.’ (Sounds like you’re reading random blogs.)
• ‘I don’t think I need this anymore.’ (You’re not the expert on the drug-your doctor is.)

Instead of saying ‘I want to stop,’ say ‘I want to feel better.’ That’s the goal. Everything else is just the path.

Real Success Stories

One woman, 78, brought in a journal she kept for three months. Each day, she wrote: ‘Took X. Felt dizzy at 10 a.m. Couldn’t hold coffee cup.’ Her doctor removed two blood pressure meds. Within two weeks, her dizziness was gone. She started walking daily again.

Another man, 82, was on five meds for anxiety and sleep. He told his doctor: ‘I want to remember my wife’s name without feeling like I’m underwater.’ They cut one sleep pill, then another. He now takes just one. He reads to his grandkids every night.

These didn’t happen because someone demanded it. They happened because someone showed up prepared-with facts, feelings, and a clear picture of what they wanted their life to be.

What If Your Doctor Says No?

Sometimes, they say no. Maybe because they’re worried about a condition returning. Or because they’re not trained in deprescribing. (Only 22% of primary care doctors feel confident doing this.)

Don’t give up. Ask:

• ‘Can you refer me to a geriatrician or pharmacist who specializes in senior meds?’
• ‘Could we schedule a separate appointment just to review my meds?’
• ‘What would it take to try this again in three months?’

You can also ask for a medication review through Medicare’s Annual Wellness Visit. Since 2024, it’s required that doctors discuss medication optimization during this visit. If yours didn’t, call and ask: ‘Why wasn’t my medication list reviewed?’

It’s Not About Cutting-It’s About Choosing

Deprescribing isn’t about giving up treatment. It’s about choosing what matters.

You’re not saying ‘I don’t want care.’ You’re saying ‘I want care that helps me live, not just survive.’

The goal isn’t to be pill-free. It’s to be pain-free. Alert. Stable. Independent.

And you don’t need permission to ask. You just need to be ready-with your list, your notes, and your reason.

Your health isn’t a checklist of prescriptions. It’s your ability to live the life you still want to live. And that’s worth talking about.

Next Steps: What to Do Today

1. Write down every medication you take-including vitamins and OTC pills. Don’t skip anything.

2. For each one, note how it affects you. Any dizziness? Confusion? Fatigue? Falls?

3. Pick one med you’re most worried about. Write down why you think it might be time to reduce or stop it.

4. Think of one thing you want to be able to do-walk, play with grandkids, sleep through the night-that you can’t do as well because of your meds.

5. Call your doctor’s office and ask for a 20-minute appointment labeled ‘medication review.’ Don’t say ‘I want to stop pills.’ Say ‘I’d like to review my meds to make sure they’re still helping me live well.’

You don’t need to be an expert. You just need to care enough to ask. And you’ve already taken the hardest step-you’re thinking about it. Now it’s time to speak up.